Proper Etiquette for the End User

Relations between Corporate IT and their End Users are often strained. One of the common things that I get asked over the phone at work is how to facilitate "urgent" issues so they can be taken care of quicker. The problem that I often see though, is that the measures that the user is taking to try and get things done quickly are actually causing the problem to move slower. There are two reasons for this. Either the End User isn't giving IT enough information to work with, or (more frequently) the user has pissed off the IT department, and now they're deliberately ignoring them. One thing that really frustrates me is that there are tons of sites devoted to teaching technicians proper etiquette, but no one addresses the issue of how an End User should treat a technician!

For the purposes of this article, "Creating A Ticket" is used to refer to the tracking systems that pretty much any organization with more than 1 IT employee use to monitor the progress of broken systems. Chances are, if you have a way to call or email for support, a ticket is being generated, and a number is provided regarding it. One of the common "new" measures to keep IT from getting overwhelmed is the concept of "Self Service" tickets - generally you as the End User will use some sort of Internet/Intranet page in order to notify the IT department that something is broken.

I provide the following 10 tips to help End Users properly interface with their IT Support coworkers:

1. Follow the Proper Procedure: It amazes me how many times someone calls and tells me that they have an urgent issue with their PC that has been going on for weeks, and I ask them if they submitted a ticket and they respond with "no." Frequently, they tell me that they emailed a tech that helped them in the past, or mentioned it in passing to someone in the hallway. Some of them just seem to think that I have ESP and know automatically whenever their Outlook crashes. Now every company is different, so do check the guidelines for your particular organization, but everywhere that I have worked has followed a pretty strict guideline. Do Not Directly Contact 1 Technician, Unless Your Company Only HAS One Technician. Turn over in IT is high. People get sick, or go on vacation and don't set their out of office messages. No less than three people interrupt me with questions every time I leave my desk, so chances are I've forgotten the first issue by the time I've reached my desk.

This is also a case of poor etiquette. If an established procedure exists, it does so for a reason. Generally it is so issues can be dealt with in a timely, organized manner. Trying to circumvent the system puts you in a poor position because three days later when your system is still broke, you have no proof that you spoke to anyone. The Right Way to Do It: Create a ticket, or call your Company's Hotline, whatever the proper procedure is. If there's a particular tech that you wish to assist you with on the matter, e-mail them your information, and any ticket/confirmation numbers that you received.

2. Give Detail When Submitting Tickets, or Calling IT: A lot of people in the business world are extremely busy, flitting from meeting to meeting with little time between. As they have little time to wait on hold with IT, they tend to submit Self Service tickets documenting the problem. However, what inevitably happens is that the ticket says something extremely vague like "My Computer is Not Functioning Correctly," and because they are never at their desk, it's hard for the Tech to figure out what they're talking about. Most times, this results in the technician taking a look at the system, not seeing anything obviously wrong with it, and closing out the ticket. The Right Way To Do It: Give as much detail as you think is potentially relevant to the issue. This is especially important if only one program or piece of hardware is malfunctioning. For example, I generally don't check a printer to see if it works unless the ticket says that the computer isn't printing. If you know Model Numbers, Error Codes/Messages, IP Addresses, etc., this information needs to be included in the ticket.

3. DON'T TYPE LIKE THIS, GODDAMNIT: Most of the people that I have worked with have taken all-caps as a sign that the user would like their ticket downgraded to "Low" priority. And don't even get me started about how we feel when people swear at us. The Right Way To Do It: Always remember, phone calls to IT, emails, and tickets are all monitored. Be professional.

4. Tell The Truth!: I can't stress this enough. There are two things that people lie about: Fault, and Frequency. The Fault category is what you were doing when the issue occurred. Don't pretend that you never look at Facebook, or that you, "Didn't install anything" before the problem occurred. CERTAINLY don't tell me that you never access Facebook after I have already pulled the site out of your History, and shown you that it goes directly to your page. Frequency is regarding the number of times a machine has broken before, the number of times you've tried to contact me, etc. Guess what? All of the above is tracked. I can pull phone records that show that you've never tried to call me. I can pull previous tickets that show that while your computer did break twice before, both times were because of Facebook-related viruses. The Right Way To Do It: Admit everything. IT is going to figure it out anyway, and when we realize how much time we wasted because you couldn't just admit to downloading addons to help you play Farmville better, we are far more likely to go run and tell your boss than we would be if you just confessed upfront.

5. IT Needs Private Time Too!: Perhaps this is just a problem that I encounter as a woman, because men's bathroom etiquette is a bit more heavily discussed in popular culture than women's. But at every place I have worked, I have had one or two individuals who have insisted upon discussing whatever ailed their computer when we were both in the bathroom! All this achieves is proving that you're tactless (and pretty gross, in my opinion). The same goes for lunch breaks as well. The Right Way to Do It: As noted prior, email is typically the best way to contact IT.

6. Oh hey there, buddy!: There's always at least one guy in the company that does it - the moment he needs something fixed, he's your best friend. He shows up at your office door, makes three seconds of small talk, and then, "Oh, by the way, can you look at my Email?" Then two days later when you encounter him in the hallway, he doesn't even nod when you say Hi. It's one of the oldest tricks in the book to act nice when you need something and then promptly stop the act once your needs have been fulfilled. The Right Way To Do It: Your IT staff are people too! Try being nice whenever you encounter them, and you'll find your issues are resolved much quicker! Seriously, it doesn't hurt to say Hi every now and again.

7. Oh Also, My PC at Home Is Acting Weird...: It amazes me how many people assume that while I am working on their office PC, that I will also assist them on issues they're experiencing with their home PC. I've actually confronted a few users before over why they thought it was ok to do this, and basically, the response was, "Well, you're already here, and it's a computer." This mentality is flawed. You don't call up your company accountant and request that he do your taxes while he's at work. Just because IT advice is intangible doesn't mean it's free. Also, I don't want to have to deal with you being angry with me when I tell you to download Kaspersky Antivirus, and you decide to download some free piece of malware that's posing as antivirus. The Right Way To Do It: If you followed the advice for #6, and you are on friendly terms with IT, it is alright to occasionally ask a question, but you should ideally check good old Google for some information first. I would rather have you come to me and say, "I think I have this virus, is it true that Kaspersky will remove it?" than have you say, "I'm getting popups all the time, what do I do?" And of course, I always support bribery. I'm not saying PAY your IT person to help you, I'm just saying that if brownies happen to end up on my desk next to a broken computer, it'll probably get taken care of.

8. We Understand You're Angry, Please Don't Direct It At Us!: Let's face it, if you're talking to the IT staff in the first place, chances are something's either broken. People have differing ways of dealing with frustration, and some are better at it than others. But do try to avoid the "You gave me this computer and now it's broken so it's your fault." There are few things worse than going out of our way to help someone, and to that person do nothing but try and chew our heads off! It's okay to be frustrated with the situation, but technicians remember the "angry" clients, and strive to avoid them when they see their name on the caller ID in the future. Obviously, if the technician did something that broke your PC in the first place that's a bit different, but in those scenarios, it's better to calmly speak to the technician's supervisor, who can handle things in a bit more rational fashion. The Right Way To Do It: First, don't call the second you realize your PC is acting up. Restart the PC, as that is literally the solution for a good third of the calls I receive. While the PC is restarting, do something that you find relaxing, so you can have a rational conversation with the technician. If you're agitated when you call, it's just going to take longer to resolve the issue.

9. Regarding Last Minute Emergencies: It happens to everyone. That project that you were assigned three weeks ago that will "only take an hour," is due by lunchtime. You open up Powerpoint to do it, and it crashes. These circumstances typically lead to some of the most difficult issues to handle as a technician, because the user is freaking out, they aren't communicating clearly, and they are unwilling to try things like restarting because they think it's a waste of time. In worse case scenarios, I've seen people lie to their bosses, stating that their PC has been broken for weeks just to avoid having to get in trouble for being late! Well guess what, when your boss calls us up, we have a log of when you called and what it was about, so that's not going to work! The Right Way To Do It: As stated above, restart your PC and take a deep breath before calling us (or while you're calling). Try to be as calm as possible as you explain the problem. If you admit, "Hey, I completely screwed up and forgot to do this, now it is due soon and my PC is broke" we will likely be willing to work with you. Yelling/Screaming/Crying is all counter-productive.

10. Gratitude Fixes Everything: Very few people tell us thank you, or seem in the slightest bit grateful when we help them. If you are one of these people, we will remember you, and it will help you out in the future.

And a Bonus:

11: Google It!: 90% of issues that I see as a technician are quick, easy fixes. If you try Googling something before calling IT, you're not only going to avoid feeling dumb when the tech fixes it with a reboot, you're also going to LEARN SOMETHING!

A Day in the Life of a Tech: Part 1

One thing that people frequently ask of me is to hear stories about things that happen in the day to day life of an IT person. While the large majority of it is exceptionally lame (like people that insist upon having you assist them with their tech problems while in the bathroom stall next to yours), there are a few gems out there that are truly worth telling.

Before reading further, please be mindful that this is likely not safe for work, and probably not safe for sanity. If you're under 18, stop reading. Mom, close the damned internet tab, I can promise you that you don't want to read this. If you're not familiar with IT; ignore the big IT words, you'll still understand.

While working for a large, nationwide end-user tech agency, I ended up doing a diagnostic on a PC that was obviously suffering from a bad hard drive. The elderly woman who checked it in complained that it was making a clicking noise, and at the counter we were unable to get it to boot into Windows. The PC had two drives, a CD-RW drive, and a DVD-ROM drive. I was reasonably certain what the diagnostic was going to tell me, so I pop the diagnostic disk into the CD-RW drive, and surely enough, hard drive is toast. Sector repair fails, so the next logical option is replacement. I check the warranty information and find that the machine is under warranty, and the user brought in the System Disks as well. Now all that I need to do is find out whether she wants me to try and recover the data from the PC. So I call and leave her a voicemail message telling her what I've found, and advising her that I would start repairs as soon as I heard from her.

Now at the time, we had a tiered pricing setup for data retrieval. If the machine was functional and it was just a matter of copying the files to a disk, it was one price. However, if advanced recover (disk is completely hosed, data needs to be repaired) was required it was another price. Knowing that the woman would likely want a more exact quote, I turn on the PC to see if the previously attempted sector repair has made the system bootable.

Let me take this time to give the following warnings. First, never let Windows Autorun anything. Period. Second, don't assume that technicians are out to snoop for interesting things in your data, because 99% of the time, it literally pops out at us, and we're powerless to ignore it.

What happened next was basically the worst-possible-scenario of occurrences. As the machine successfully boots into Windows, Autorun takes action on the DVD disk, and it starts playing where it left off: Smack dab in the middle of Anal Fisting #5 (Best Movie Ever Edition)*. My coworkers and I watch in horror as this chick onscreen takes it up the butt, and then the phone rings. Of course, the person calling me is the woman who owns the PC!

Once my peers ascertain this, they are laughing to hard to do anything to stop the movie, and I've ran into the corner of our department to try and avoid the sound. I then proceed to explain what is wrong with the machine, what the costs for data recovery would be, etc. Just when I think I've managed to keep a straight face, the owner of the PC bursts into tears. She manages to choke out that the PC had belonged to her beloved son, who had passed away just a few weeks prior. And that she wanted the PC to work again so she could use it, but didn't need any of the data.

It then occurs to me that while I am on the phone with this grieving mother that her dead son's anal fisting porn is playing. That is when I completely lost it. Unable to handle the sheer bizarreness of the situation, I do what anyone else would do, I bust out laughing.

And that's why I laughed at the woman when she told me her son had died.

And that, friends, is why you don't die with anything incriminating on your computer.

*I don't remember if that was the precise title of the movie, but I know with 100% certainty it was labeled, "best movie ever"

Alton Brown Main Event

First off, if you read this blog through some sort of Feed, note that the last post has had Images added to it. Also, I've posted all the images to my Photobucket here. Unfortunately, there are very few pictures of the main event because the Hippodrome doesn't allow photography in the main room - I snagged the one above right before the usher came over to chide me :-(

The topic of the main event was how one time, a little boy came up to Alton, and asked him what he'd learned through the course of making his show. Alton responded with a lot of advice regarding lawyers, and copyrights and the like. The boy stopped him and said, "No, what have you learned about food?" After that, Alton made to a point to work on a list, called "10 Things About Food I Feel Pretty Darned Sure of." I'm not going to go through all 10 here, as it would be an extremely long post, and I don't want to spoil too much of it for people who may get to see it in person. Here were some of the highlights though (sorry if it seems disjointed, I took notes, but he is far more eloquent than I am):

1. Chickens Don't Have Fingers: Children's menus always contain the same 5-6 meals, one of which is chicken fingers. This increases their dependence on Ronald McDonald to feed them as an adult. Alton's daughter really liked Chicken Fingers, until one night she had friends over and he asked them what they wanted to eat. She responded, "Chicken Fingers." So Alton went down to the Asian Grocery, bought chicken feet, and them steamed and fried them, with the toenails still attached. Obviously when he presented them to the girls, they all freaked out, and said, "What is this?!" Alton responded, "Well what do you think McDonald's makes them out of?" and he has not had a request for Chicken Strips ever since.

I have to make a tangent at this point, because some of Alton's fans feel that ever since he lost weight, he has been "holier than thou" about health and weight. I don't know if they are just sensitive to the subject, or if I am less sensitive because I've never dealt with weight issues, but I didn't think that he was holier than thou at all. Honestly, Americans have an issue with obesity. As a result, many of his fans are going to be obese. And I think it's only right for him to explain the tips that he - as someone who loves food and has to watch what he eats - has been using. A lot of the ethical or political points that he made were spot on, and in my opinion were responsible uses of his celebrity status. Beyond that, he was very interesting to listen to, and never seemed "preachy" or "lecturing."

5. Beware Chinese Chili: This was a thought that originally came to him when he opened a can of Chili from China, and it was disgusting. Then came the obvious tangents from the original thought - why would you get a food that is Tex/mex in origin from an Asian Country? And moreso than that, why would you buy food from a nation that doesn't even care about their own people? Recently, there have been a lot of occasions where toys, formula, etc form China have been revealed to be harmful. And there's simple too much food coming into the US for all of it to be tested.

This lead to a discussion about local foods, which Alton feels are a better option. In addition to supporting your local farmers, it is a lot easier to track if you get Salmonella (for example) from a local farm, than if you're eating imported food that's traveled hundred or thousands of miles to get to you. Many of these farms conform to higher standards than are required for "Organic" labeling, but cannot afford it, as the government has made it very expensive.

7. Gratitude: It Tastes Good: Being someone who worked has worked in "Customer Service" type jobs for over 10 years, this really resonated with me. People are rude to servers, cashiers, etc. These are the people that are taking care of your needs, and you should be respectful and friendly to them as a result.

8. Husbands, Your Wife is the Best Cook Ever: Alton regaled us with a story from the early parts of his marriage, where his wife cooked Spaghetti. He commented that it could use garlic and oregano, and she walked out of the kitchen... for 8 months. Now everything that she cooks is the best thing that he's ever tasted.

In between the things he's learned, Alton took questions from the audience via phone and microphone. here are some of the Highlights:

What Would You Request for your "Last Meal?": Duck Confit, since it takes three days to prepare.

What Foods (if any) Do You Refuse to Eat?: Any food from Walmart

Which Do You Think had a Bigger Influence on Cooking, Salt, of Fire?: He had to pause and consider this one before answering, "Fire, but only because you didn't say Kosher Salt."

Favorite Spice: Cumin (I agree with him 100%)

What Do You Think About Justin Bieber?: Pig Roast, With a Shiny Red Apple in His Mouth

Would You Ever Compete on Iron Chef, and If So, Who Would You Compete Against?: Alton said that he would not compete on Iron Chef because if anyone else got the opportunity to do his job, they would realize how cushie of a gig it is. Also because he'd get the snot beat out of him. If he had to, though, he would go against Morimoto, and ensure that the Secret Ingredient was not Fish, and was preferably something very American like cocktail weenies.

Random Stories:

Alton told a few random stories that were extremely funny. One was about his many experiences of smoking food - particularly salmon - at home. When he first began steaming salmon, he did it in cardboard boxes in his carport. But he's not a particularly "clean" person, and hates cleaning up after himself, so he would often leave the boxes out until his wife yelled at him to get rid of them. One day it was raining, so he nudged the box with his foot out into the rain. When it became soft and wet, the neighborhood dogs all came and ate the box. A later iteration of the box would have thick, heavy duty aluminum foil in it, but he forgot about it, and kicked it out into the rain. He then received angry calls from his neighbors because their dogs were crapping up foil for days afterwards.

He also listed off some of his vices, one of which was alcohol. When he drinks, he admits that he makes poor decisions about food, and he compared himself to Homer Simpson in this regard. The only thing that will cause him to set down a beer is a donut. Unfortunately, that's why he has two hands, or if he's careful, he can just put the donut on the beer bottle, and eat it from there.

Another of his vices is Thin Mints. Since his daughter is a Girl Scout, and his wife volunteered to hold on to all of the cookies for a few troops, he couldn't avoid them though. Thin Mints, he claims, are a box that contains two servings, and that anyone who doesn't eat a whole tube in one setting is a Nazi. If he had his own church, he would use Thin Mints as Communion Wafers.

He was asked for his thoughts on several Food Network personalities. The first was Bobby Flay, who people generally think of as being a jerk. Alton explained that he's not a jerk, but that some combination of his New York manner of speaking, and his serious nature regarding food causes him to come off that way. Another audience member asked if Giada's head was really as big as it appeared on TV, and he responded that he couldn't answer because he didn't know a single man who actually looked at her head (but that Giada was really nice as well). He indicated a tremendous fondness for Iron Chef Chairman Mark Dacascos, and did a very good impersonation of him. When Mark went to do Dancing With The Stars, Alton told him that he'd better win, because even if he didn't win, he could kill all his competition and be the best.

All in all, the evening was incredibly worthwhile, and a fun time was had by all.

Alton Brown VIP Foodie Experience

So Saturday night, we had the occasion to attend the 2nd Annual Foodie Experience at the Hippodrome. Being the huge Alton Brown fans that we are, we opted to get the VIP experience tickets, which basically turned the event into two shows. The first part was the VIP event, which was an intimate little cooking demonstration by Alton, and a Q and A session. This was particularly nice because there were only around 150 people in the room, so he was able to answer a good number of our questions. The second part was a larger presentation by Alton, which had about 1000 people attending. Still, he managed to take some questions in his presentation as he had an email account setup so people could email him from their phones while he was talking. I took a ton of notes at the event, so I'm just going to cover the VIP event here.

I have to say this right off the bat: Alton's humor on Good Eats and Iron Chef isn't clever editing, or numerous takes. Alton is absurdly witty, to the point where I could honestly see him being a tremendously successful food comedian if the whole "Cooking Show" angle doesn't work out for him. He was quick with a joke for absolutely every question that was asked of him, and by the end of the night I almost wished he'd give us a breather because my sides hurt from laughing so much. As we were standing in line, getting our drinks before the demonstration, Alton came out. Everyone still in line gave him a guilty look, fearing that we were intruding on "his" time. But he reassured everyone that he had come out early because he was bored back stage and was excited to meet us. As he explained, he normally doesn't get to speak to such a small, intimate audience, and he was really thrilled for the opportunity.

That really set the theme for the entire event. He wanted to be there just as much as we did. The questions asked by the audience varied in topic, but regardless of what was asked, Alton had a clever retort, often at the asker's expense. When discussing with a man whether his wife cooked for him or not, the husband replied, "No, she's watching the baby," to which Alton promptly responded, "Watching the baby? All babies do is sleep. She's sitting there playing Angry Birds!" Now one thing that Alton's discussions make clear is that he's very technology savvy. Macbooks, iPads, and iPhones are all over the place. But there was just something about knowing that Alton knew about Angry Birds (and how time consuming it could be) that cracked me up.

He was also asked about shows regarding allergies and intolerances, and had a good reason for why it wasn't something that he explored. Obviously, much of it is because of legal liability, but also because many allergies and sensitivities aren't well known by doctors either. He then explained an example of a woman who smacked a sandwich out of a child's hand at Chick-fil-A (and then said "I love that place"). His point was that few people realize that peanut allergies generally are to the protein, which isn't found in the oil.

Of course, questions about Iron Chef were coming as well. He was asked if it was true that he never tasted the food, and regaled us with the following tale. When they were working on the original Iron Chef America (the mini series deal, not the Food Network series), Alton ate everything that he could get his hands on. This included food from Iron Chef Sakai, who had (unbeknown to Alton) included Oyster in his dish. Alton is highly sensitive to oyster, and got very ill. Because Iron Chef America is filmed over such a short time period, at two episodes per day, he can't afford to be ill and generally does not eat it. He also mentioned that a very limited amount of each dish is served, and that as he is not a judge, it's not right for him to try it. When he sits in for the Chairman, he does eat for the purpose of keeping the judges on track.

After the initial few questions, Alton began a demo of Baked Alaska. There was something incredibly surreal about watching "Good Eats" in person. At one point, Alton opened therefrigerator, looked and the cameraman and scowled. He then walked over to the cameraman, and tried to take the camera from him, saying, "Don't worry, I'm a professional." He then attempted to fit the camera in the refrigerator, to do his trademark "address the audience in the refrigerator" shot, but unfortunately the camera was too large to fit. He asked the audience what ingredients were in Baked Alaska, and a lady in the front row answered. Since she included "liquor" in her description, Alton teased her about alcoholism, but then incorporated liquor into his recipe. When the bartender brought over a large bottle of Bourbon, the audience tried to encourage Alton to drink it. He refused however, noting that he had a plane to fly at the end of the night, and "Being a pilot cuts into your drinking.... unless you're a commercial pilot."

The audience would later be able to see an Alton "blooper" when the Baked Alaska refused to come out of it's mold properly. The look on Alton's face was absolutely priceless as he rushed to get the one that was already made out of the fridge before his assistant noticed he'd messed it up. As the audience laughed, Alton said, "Martha Stewart is laughing right now. Heck, Rachael Ray is laughing. Not Paula Deen though. Not enough butter. Or ham. Or tooth whitener." He then went on to explain that he had no hard feelings regarding Paula, as since she was a fellow Georgian he had a lot of respect for her.

As he was beating the meringue for the Baked Alaska, he took more questions. There was another one about Iron Chef, this one in relation to whether or not the Iron Chefs and Contestants knew what the ingredients were upfront. It has often been said online that they get the option of anywhere from 3-6 potential secret ingredients, although Alton guesses that the list is probably closer in number to 10. He explained that 6 comes from the Japanese version of the show, but he thinks that it worked something like this: Today's secret ingredient will either be, Bicycle tire, Sweat Sock, SALMON....etc." He says that the reason we don't see the debate at the beginning over what to make is because they have to cut something out, and chopping things is more interesting. They have been making more effort recently to show some of the discussion between the chefs and their sous chefs though. He also pointed out that when you have 60 minutes, you need to get started immediately, and that there are some things you always know that you'll need, so you grab your Secret Ingredient, get the common ingredients from the pantry, etc.

Another Iron Chef related question that was asked revolved around the plating, since on the American show the chefs are only required to plate one dish. Alton explained that they are required to prepare enough for all 4 portions, but the rest of the plating can be done during a period called "Reposition Time," when they move all 13 of the cameras to the judging area. The challenger gets the ability to reheat his dishes during the judging of the Iron Chef, as sometimes judging can take up to two hours.

Then came the time to put the meringue on the Baked Alaska, which Alton did using one of his quick methods - sitting the whole thing on a turntable, and turning it on so it would spin as he piped out the meringue. It was humorous as he futzed with the speed of the turntable and the audience shouted out "45!" since he had said that was the best speed on at least one previous interview. Once finished, Alton produced a butane torch, and asked the audience if we remembered them from Iron Chef. He acted like he was going to use it to carmellize the cake, as he explained that he had a device called "Red Dragon" at home that ran off a propane tank and could generate a 6 foot flame. Unfortunately, the MD code didn't allow that device, so he had to leave it at home. However, bake spray often uses propane as a propellant... so he used the little butane torch to light the bake spray, and the Baked Alaska was quickly baked.

After this, they gave away a mixer, and the VIP event was over. But he came back out to sign the mixer, and a group of his fans (myself included) had stuck around, so he began to sign autographs. Unfortunately, he didn't have a Sharpie, and he turned down the pens that were offered as not good for autographing. Fortunately, I had stuffed one (and my copy of Feasting on Asphalt) in my purse. I offered to let him use it if he posed for a picture (which he did), and then he signed my book. He said that "Feasting on Asphalt" was a good choice as he really liked it. I do as well, and I figured it doesn't stray into the kitchen as much as his other books, so it was probably the best bet to take with.

I sat around for a while while Alton signed autographs and posed for pictures with everyone, got my pen back, and then headed over to the second event.

Employers: Minimum PC Knowledge is Needed

Back when I was in High School, I worked as a PC Salesperson at Best Buy. Over the summer, the department didn't have free hours for part timers, so I decided to help out as a Cashier for some extra cash. I will never forget the first few days of cashier training. At the end of the night, when totaling your register, you were required to sign the tape from the calculator, and it was filed away. There was a girl there who was training with me, and while being okay at the register itself, couldn't seem to grasp the calculator aspect. The Operations Manager told her in no uncertain terms that using the calculator was a part of her job, and that relying on others to stop and help her (or do it for her every night) was a waste of labor. Thusly, she would learn it, or she would leave.

Since then, I have worked in numerous different Help Desk and related PC Support positions. And the one thing that has consistently boggled my mind is how people who need to use a computer to do their job seem not only to think that they don't need to be able to understand it, but also that it's the Help Desk's job to handhold them through their daily tasks. I believe that a lot of companies haven't realized how much poor computer knowledge impacts their overall productivity.

Computers are relatively knew to the work scene. A huge amount of the work force didn't grow up with computers, and many of them use that as an excuse to not try to learn them, instead relying on other people. Sure, there are also those employees that would like to learn, but don't have the means to do so. Perhaps they can't afford basic computer classes, and their employer doesn't offer any on the job training, short of on certain proprietary applications.

When I've brought this up to employers in the past, it seems like there are two major arguments against this. The first is that they don't believe that there is a loss in productivity due to lack of knowledge. The second is that they feel that - for example - a good accountant with no computer skills is a better asset than a reasonably good accountant with superior computer skills.

I don't believe that employers realize how much productivity is lost by lack of knowledge. I can't count the number of times that I have asked someone to do a basic part of their job - schedule a meeting in Outlook, process an Invoice, etc. that should only take 2 minutes to do, and watch as they fumble through it for 20 minutes. And these aren't new employees either, in some cases these were employees that had been working with the same application for 5+ years. But they never actually learned, or were taught how the application works, they were just given a series of steps to follow, and if that series of steps fails, they just throw up their hands and call IT. Imagine if every task this employee has to do that should take 2 minutes is taking 20. Yes, they are doing their job, but in no way, shape or form as efficiently as their peers.

Beyond the time being wasted on their end is the IT time that they end up wasting as well. In my experience, and the experience of many of my friends in the field, the large majority of your callers are people who call in every day. In some environments that I have worked in 1% of the company has accounted for 50% of the IT tickets placed. Every company that I have worked for has at least one employee that forgets their password and needs a reset several times a week. But no company wants to either A: Label this employee incompetent and find another one, or B: Require that the employee receive computer instruction in order to better both themselves and the company as a whole.

The lack of accountability concerning IT is troubling. If I had a report to fill out that I completed incorrectly every week, my boss would likely take disciplinary action, especially if I showed no interest in trying to actually learn how to use it. At a previous job, though, we had an application for Payroll that needed to be processed once a week. And amazingly enough, the same people were making the same mistakes every week. We had step by step guides specifically telling them exactly what to do, and it was very common sense. If you enter in $0 for a pay rate, or 0 hours, the employee isn't going to get paid. If you close the application while it is transmitting, the data will not all transmit properly. And yet as Payroll day occurred every week, those same few called up, and wanted to yell at IT because people were getting $0 paychecks. After the issues of the week had been solved, we would send out an email giving instructions to prevent the situation from occurring again. Yet it never seemed to help.

Companies don't seem to realize how integral computers are to the jobs people do today. Many positions don't list any sort of Computer skill necessary, even for jobs that are extremely reliant on PCs. If I were to apply for an administrative assistant job, they would list "Multi-line Phone Operation" as a required skill. And if I showed up to work and didn't know that skill, and couldn't pick it up, they would get rid of me. But if the same position required extensive scheduling in Outlook, and every time I needed to schedule someone I had to call IT and have them help me, I would likely still maintain my employment.

Users that call IT for legitimate problems are often frustrated at how long they take to get resolved. Most Help Desks handle non-critical issues in the order they're received, which means that chances are if you're waiting for your PC to be fixed, you're waiting because Bob in account can't change the font size on his email, and Tracey from HR has forgotten her password for the 27th time this week.

If you're reading this and are one of the users who find computers scary and confusing, I have the following words of wisdom for you:

1. It's only scary because you keep telling yourself it is.

2. If you don't know something, Google it.

3. If your office doesn't offer training, start demanding it, and look into college courses.

Female on Female

In preparing for PAX, the BF and I came up with a short list of the panels that both of us wanted to attend. Of course, one of the events that I was initially tempted by was the panel focused on female gamers. Initially, I felt as though I was obligated to go. I mean, it's like 6th Grade Health Class, at some point in time you segregate off the girls and explain to them about monthly bleeding and other fun stuff like that.

Un/fortunately, it conflicted with something that the BF wanted to see, and when I considered it, the panel he marked sounded more interesting to me as well. It was something I was interested in, not a duty or a burden.

After having read some other women's perspectives on the matter, I find myself glad that I did not attend.

Let me start off with a little backstory.

I don't think I ever had a conception of "gender roles" as society views them until I was nearly a teenager. As a child, I had pretty dresses, but I had overalls and jeans as well. Sure, I adored my stuffed animals and my Barbie Dolls, but I also loved my computer games, toy cars and Lego kits. And looking back, I didn't necessarily play with Barbies like most girls. Yeah, I dressed them up and stuff, but half the time Barbie realized that Ken was boring, shot his stupid ass with a miniature gun, and then went to race her Ferrarri.


Another aspect of this was that my best friend during those formative years was a girl who was just as much into dragons and X-files and Star Trek as I was. Because there were two of us, I never really felt that I was "different." Yes, other kids weren't geeky. That I understood. But those other kids were male and female alike.

It wasn't until I went to an all-girls school when I started to hear it. "You can do whatever you want to be, despite the fact that you are a woman."

Waitaminute. Despite? That's new...

Very few of the other girls likes the things that I did. Sure, some if them read fantasy books, and liked science, but no one loved computers and Sci-Fi and Dungeons and Dragons and things of that nature.

At this point, at the beginning of my teenaged years, I realized I was different.

At first, I embraced it. Not yet interested in what the male members of the species thought of me, I said "screw it" to the general "female" accoutrements. No makeup or dresses for me! No sir! Baggy nerd tee-shirts and jeans are the way to go!

Of course then, as more and more girls started dating and hormones did their thing, I realized that boys really liked girly girls. That was odd. I suffered through this for a year or so before meeting guys outside of the Catholic School circle. Nerdy guys. Guys that would trade their right arm and half their anime collection for a girl that liked the things they did.

I rode this high for years, even realizing that if I could be geeky AND girly that I would be an all-new level of super awesome in their eyes. So I started trying again. Bought cute clothes. Dressed up when I started going to college. I made a lot of geek guy friends there, and felt bad for the fact that I knew so few geek girls for them to meet.

It only became logical from that point that I started participating in female-centric events. Various employers I had and classes I went to wanted to establish different ways to encorporate girls into their fold. Diversity was the big push!And the geeky pursuits didn't have enough of it. So there were think tanks, and media and I ate it all up. I thought it was my duty as a woman to try and convert women to the Dark Side of Geekery!

And I felt this way for _years_. I don't know when it changed. Perhaps it was when I heard of capable men being turned down for women with no skills but who has two matching x chromosomes. I doubted it more when men started telling me that they "never really though about it until someone mentioned it."

And then I remembered. I never felt like I was a "minority" until it was pointed out. But then again, I was never told how to be in the first place. My parents didn't stress being pretty, or owning the best shoes, my parents stressed finding something that made me happy and doing it well.

Worse, because these campaigns were stressing how equivalent women were to men in technical regards, men started to become suspicious. Men innately know that when a woman says something over and over again, there are generally two reasons, and they're usually connected. The first is that she is lying. The second is that she doubts herself, and if someone else believes it, then she will as well. Getting back to the original point, my friends who went to the PAX panel on Females felt that many of the women there were doing more to hinder our place in the gaming world than they were to further it. And it scares me. I wonder how many more of these initiatives will fail, and what the end result will be.

I don't know what the solution is for getting women in technology. What I do know is that women who proselytize and take "advantage" of their "difference" often do more harm than good. I also know that the "gender issue" is one that I still think of every day. Do I list myself as a Diversity candidate because I am the minority in my field? Or is that too "easy"? How do I find the right balance of my geeky pursuits, and my feminine ones (as both clothes and video games are quite pricy....)? How do I dress in the workplace so I will be taken "seriously" as a technician while at the same time still balancing something that looks decent and is utilitarian as well? Because let me tell you, women's dress pants are not designed for climbing under desks all day.

Even in titling this blog, my initial thought was to title it something that encompassed both geekiness and girliness. But while yes, both of these are a part of me, I'd like to think that I will have a lot to say that applies to men as well, and I don't want to ostracize those readers.

Android: Helping The Helpless Be Better At Life

I've always been the sort of person that was perpetually in my own head. I am often too lost in thought about whatever has me preoccupied for the day to be too awful aware of the world around me. I've always been extremely observant in regards to anything inside a screen (probably due to using computers at a very young age), but anything outside of that little panel is basically non-existent. I walk into walls. I lose things that are right in front of my face. I walk right past people I know without noticing them. All in all, when I am in a new place, I am a pretty helpless person. I can't rely on noticing street signs or landmarks to navigate myself around. I often can't remember to check for details of an event before I start driving there. And last weekend, I was in Boston for the first time ever.

Sure, I wasn't alone there, but it's hard for other people to direct me to places that I don't know that I'm going. That, unfortunately, is one of the perils of possessing a scattered mind. Fortunately, I had my Droid X with me, and it basically comes equipped with everything I need to live. It's funny, I don't realize how dependent I've become on my phone until I leave it somewhere, or forget to charge it.

While in Boston, I used it for everything. Where were my friends at? Let me check FourSquare, or text them. What events did I want to see at the Con? Let's check Conventionalist. The food at the Con sucks? Alright, let's check Google, Where, and Yelp. I remember as a child on vacations just relying on maps, street signs, visitor guides, and the pamphlets at the hotel to figure things out, and this is just so much better. Absolutely everything I needed in one package - that is why I don't mind that the Droid X is so large that a tiny person like me could use it as a Great Shield.

But moreso than that was the community that was made possible by the Android (ok, fine, and the iPhone as well). Checking the Twitter feeds for #PAX revealed tons of interesting things that were going on, gossip about the Con, and individuals that were planning their own get togethers while at PAX. Sure, the cell internet was terribly slow as a result. It was fascinating to see things happening at the show, and then to see them get tweeted mere moments later.

I'm really, truly glad to see Smart Phones helping the helpless geeks become better at social pursuits.

Rift Community Event

Yes, I'm being evil. I am backdating blog posts that I am adding today. While at PAX, the cell internet was reasonably slow because there were simply so many people trying to access it, so I wrote a decent amount of blog content that I will be slowly posting. This is why I haven't said anything comprehensive about PAX yet, because I already wrote it!

While I am going to strive to not make this another video game only blog, part of what interests me in life is video gaming, and as such I am certainly going to post about it to some extent. Don't worry, I'll try to keep it to a reasonable level.

That said, while at PAX, one of the things that I was lucky to have the opportunity to attend was the Rift Community Event. I have been playing Rift since beta, and am nearly 50 (PAX set me back a bit, but it was definitely worth it). Getting to put faces to names, and to actually talk to the people responsible for developing the game was a fantastic opportunity. While I was sad that they didn't have a booth at the event, this definitely made up for it, and was honestly probably better in the end.

Trion closed down the Blu Restaurant for the evening, and they were serving h'or d'oeuvres, pasta, and drinks. I have to give the restaurant credit, the food and drinks at the event were definitely amazing, including this little mini crabcake that was good enough to satisfy a Marylander. Several of the Community Leaders, Sr. Devs and Marketing people from Rift were there, I took pics of mostly everyone (save Abigale and Elrar, who you might know as being Community Managers), which are hosted on my Flickr.

There were only probably around 200 or so people there, so the people from Trion were mingling around, and we got to talk to a few of them a good bit. They seemed really, genuinely interested in our feedback as players, and were aware of a lot of the things that were being brought up. A lot of the things that we mentioned as having problems with in the game, they had experienced as well, and were already working on solutions. Ironically, many of the issues I personally was having were resolved in the patch that hit the morning of the event, so I didn't have as many questions to ask.



Dwarf Jumping: This has been a big pet peeve of a few of my guildies for a while (most notable, my boyfriend), hence it was basically the first thing asked. The dwarf jumping animations, especially for the male dwarves, are just bad. The dwarves jump and split-kick their legs, and it's just horribly awkward looking. Apparently the reason their animation is so bad is because they had a hard time rendering them as jumping realistically, but at the same time not losing height in the process. It was more important to have dwarves not be penalized for their small stature in the game world (which has happened in games in the past). We made some suggestions as to how to improve their jump animation, including the flip-jump that was used in EQ, as well as having a High Elf come out and do a Legolas-style "Dwarf toss." I'm not certain they'll actually fix this particular issue, but at least there's a good reason.

Belmont: For those of you who don't play on Belmont (or one of the other original beta servers), you might not be aware of the fact that these older servers have had their share of little issues as of recent. They are aware of this, and are keeping a close eye on these servers to ensure that they continue functioning properly.

Raids: They were sincerely surprised at how fast that players got to the raid bosses, and in turn got so many of them down. Because of this, (and because earlier that morning they'd buffed several bosses) I have the feeling that the next round of raid bosses will be harder.

Artifacts!: I actually tracked down the "guy that put things in hard to reach places" (Sr. Game Developer Simon Ffinch) and he confirmed that every artifact in the game can be reached by player characters, even those without Angelic Flight. He personally tested all of them before Angelic Flight was even added to the game. As the OCD type of person who sees something shiny and must acquire it, I was very happy to learn this. He cannot confirm the same for crafting nodes because he didn't test them all. If an artifact is particularly hard to get to, there is a higher chance that it will be a rarer artifact. It's not a guarantee, but the chances are better. Also, apparently someone had already completed 100 Artifact sets and gotten the Shiny Tartagon - but was 14 levels too low to use it.

Underwater Zones: During their video loop, I saw something that looked like a Mermaid underwater, and I asked about the rumored underwater zones. It is something that the Devs really want to explore, but many of them have played other games where underwater zones have been pretty terrible. They realize that the swimming system that Rift released with had some limitations, and they want to get past these in order to deliver the best gameplay possible. Many of them have experienced underwater zones in games like EverQuest, and knew how terrible they could be (if you played EQ, you know exactly what I am talking about).

I'm sure there are other things that I am forgetting, but those were the things that come to mind right now. All and all, I had an extremely good time, and if you have the opportunity to go to a Community event, I HIGHLY recommend it.

Blogging: For those who can't cope with just ONE Imaginary Friend

I've always been fascinated by Imaginary Friends. In fact, I've always harbored a secret curiosity about other people's childhood "Friends," but I haven't really ever been sure how to present that to a group of adults. And even in myself, despite my pre-occupation with them, I barely recall them at all. Which genuinely makes me sad, as they were a huge part of my childhood.

I'm not sure if it's because I'm an only child, or because I am a narcissist or what, but I couldn't be content with just one imaginary friend. Instead, as a child I constructed an elaborate "race" of imaginary beings, called the Dootdos. Of course, my best friend of all of them was named Dootdo... I'm not really sure if he was the King and that's why all the rest were named after him, or what. I know that Dootdo had a dog, and a friend named Bippy. Bippy was the smart one, who was tall (well, tall for Dootdos, they were all quite small, nearly smurf sized), and wore glasses. He was the one who orchestrated all of our hyjinks. I know there were a few female Dootdos, and numerous others who's names I can't remember - I should ask my mother, she remembers all that crazy stuff.

But as an only child, who often spent time playing by herself, I "coped" by inventing a whole race of friends. I can't recall the specifics, but I remember that the hierarchy and such was reasonably complex, and that they all interacted amongst themselves in addition to interacting with me. I've been thinking about this more and more recently, because my boyfriend considers people that are on the internet to be imaginary people. He doesn't understand why I get upset when "internet people" are rude to me in video games. I have a hard time differentiating that from someone I know yelling at me, and it frustrates me.

One of the reasons I've hated blogging in the past is because it truly is an exercise in narcissism, and I'd really like to think that I was above that. I'd like to believe that I wasn't dependent on having other people read and respond to my thoughts to validate myself. But then I started thinking that maybe writing one's thoughts out for others to read is the grown up's imaginary friend. The person that you talk to, even if they can't or don't respond back just because it feels good to get your thoughts out on paper. And perhaps since I couldn't content myself with one Imaginary Friend, blogging is my grown up equivalent.

Why Blog?

This certainly is not my first attempt at the thing people know as "blogging" - not by a longshot. I think that I have probably started at least 10 or so blogs in my time on the internet, some of which I maintained for a while, and others that I wrote one post and then promptly forgot about them.

They've failed for many reasons. With some of them the focus was too small, and as a result it limited the amount of content that I could produce for it. I would get ideas outside of my focus, but wouldn't post them because it wasn't the place. Or maybe I'd start a second and third blog for the one-off posts, and then never touch them again. With others, I would start them about one topic (like WoW) and then lose interest in that topic. As a result, this blog's focus will be a combination of many things that I have interest in, from Video Games to Tabletop/Card Games, to Cooking, etc.

What motivates me to start now? I think one of the biggest things is being at PAX. I feel revitalized in my geekiness, and I see how many people there are nowadays that are interested in the same things that I am. Also, there is extremely limited internet here, so the ideas for blogs that I have are getting carefully filed away in Notepad documents to help me overcome days when I have writer's block (which will be plentiful). Obviously, one key to keeping readers is to ensure that content updates are regular. Having a few posts to get me started right off the bat will be beneficial.

Another reason for starting this is because more and more companies are looking for social media people. That is, people who understand and participate in blogging, Facebook, Twitter, etc. This sounds like a cool career option, but one that I will need to put some effort into developing a portfolio for.

So we'll see how this goes.